Chinese:
Grace想要一个男朋友。她想要一个有一点高、有一点帅、有一点钱、有一点肌肉的男朋友。她不想要跟一个男孩约会，她想要跟一个男人约会。
星期二，Grace去约会了。这个人是一个男孩还是一个男人呢？他叫Josh，他三十八岁。不胖，也不瘦。他有肌肉，也有头发。他不是很高，但还可以。Josh说：“我很厉害，我是一个VP。”Grace没有说话，因为厉害的人不会说自己厉害。
他们没有去公园约会，没有去饭店约会。他们去了一个酒吧约会。Josh喝了一杯酒，Grace也喝了一杯酒。他们都没有喝很多酒，因为喝酒不好。Josh说：“我是一个Trump voter。”Grace问：“为什么？因为你觉得Trump很聪明吗？”Josh说：“不。我不喜欢Trump，但是我真的真的不想要第三次世界大战。”Grace不在乎Trump，但是她觉得Josh一般般，因为他总是说“我、我、我。”他说了八百九十五次“我。”Grace觉得Josh是一个男孩，他不是一个男人。所以，Grace对Josh说：“再见。”
星期五Grace又去约会了。这个人是一个男孩还是一个男人呢？他叫Ethan， 也38岁。他有头发，他很高，有一点帅，但是，他有一个大大的肚子。Grace不喜欢胖男人，她想：“这个男人有一点胖，不太胖。如果他很聪明，我会喜欢他。”Ethan说：“我很有钱。”Grace没有说话，因为有钱的人不会说自己很有钱。Ethan又说：“我很聪明，因为我有一个PhD。”Grace也没有说话，因为聪明的人不会说自己聪明。
这个有钱的男人没有和Grace去饭店约会，没有和Grace去酒吧约会，他和Grace去公园约会。可是，Grace不太在乎钱，如果Ethan没有钱，没关系。但是，如果Ethan没有钱，又不聪明，不行！不可以！Ethan说：“我不是一个Trump voter，因为我的爸爸以前是一个男人，现在是一个女人，Trump说不可以。”Grace说：“如果你的孩子是一个男孩，但是他想要做女孩，你觉得可以吗？”Ethan说：“可以，我给他药。”Grace说：“如果你的孩子只有12岁，可以吗？你也给他药吗？”Ethan说：“当然啦！你呢？”Grace说：“如果他十八岁，我给他药；如果他十二岁，我不给他药。”Ethan说：“你是谁？你是一个Trump voter吗？你怎么可以不给他药？你喜欢Fox News，对不对？”Grace觉得Ethan太左了。Ethan不是一个男人，他是一个男孩。所以Grace对Ethan说再见。
星期天，Grace又去约会了。这个人是一个男孩还是一个男人呢？他叫文浩，他三十六岁。他不高，不胖，不瘦，不帅，也不喜欢说话。他们没有去一个公园约会，没有去一个酒吧约会，他们去了一个饭店约会。他说：“我没有钱，但是今天吃饭，他给了钱。”他说：“我不聪明。”但是他没有说“我我我”，他也没有说Trump。他总是听Grace说话。Grace觉得文浩是一个男人，不是一个男孩。现在文浩做了Grace的男朋友。他不高，不帅，但他是一个男人。
Pinyin:
Grace xiǎng yào yí gè nán péng yǒu. Tā xiǎng yào yí gè yǒu yì diǎn gāo, yǒu yì diǎn shuài, yǒu yì diǎn qián, yǒu yì diǎn jī ròu de nán péng yǒu. Tā bù xiǎng yào gēn yí gè nán hái yuē huì, tā xiǎng yào gēn yí gè nán rén yuē huì.
Xīng qī èr, Grace qù yuē huì le. Zhè gè rén shì yí gè nán hái hái shì yí gè nán rén ne? Tā jiào Josh, tā sān shí bā suì. Bù pàng, yě bù shòu. Tā yǒu jī ròu, yě yǒu tóu fǎ. Tā bù shì hěn gāo, dàn hái kě yǐ. Josh shuō: “Wǒ hěn lì hài, wǒ shì yí gè VP.” Grace méi yǒu shuō huà, yīn wèi lì hài de rén bù huì shuō zì jǐ lì hài.
Tā men méi yǒu qù gōng yuán yuē huì, méi yǒu qù fàn diàn yuē huì. Tā men qù le yí gè jiǔ bā yuē huì. Josh hē le yì bēi jiǔ, Grace yě hē le yì bēi jiǔ. Tā men dōu méi yǒu hē hěn duō jiǔ, yīn wèi hē jiǔ bù hǎo. Josh shuō: “Wǒ shì yí gè Trump voter.” Grace wèn: “Wèi shén me? Yīn wèi nǐ jué de Trump hěn cōng míng ma?” Josh shuō: “Bù. Wǒ bù xǐ huān Trump, dàn shì wǒ zhēn de zhēn de bù xiǎng yào dì sān cì shì jiè dà zhàn.” Grace bù zài hū Trump, dàn shì tā jué de Josh yì bān bān, yīn wèi tā zǒng shì shuō “wǒ, wǒ, wǒ.” Tā shuō le bā bǎi jiǔ shí wǔ cì “wǒ.” Grace jué de Josh shì yí gè nán hái, tā bù shì yí gè nán rén. Suǒ yǐ, Grace duì Josh shuō: “Zài jiàn.”
Xīng qī wǔ Grace yòu qù yuē huì le. Zhè gè rén shì yí gè nán hái hái shì yí gè nán rén ne? Tā jiào Ethan, yě 38 suì. Tā yǒu tóu fǎ, tā hěn gāo, yǒu yì diǎn shuài, dàn shì, tā yǒu yí gè dà dà de dù zi. Grace bù xǐ huān pàng nán rén, tā xiǎng: “Zhè gè nán rén yǒu yì diǎn pàng, bù tài pàng. Rú guǒ tā hěn cōng míng, wǒ huì xǐ huān tā.” Ethan shuō: “Wǒ hěn yǒu qián.” Grace méi yǒu shuō huà, yīn wèi yǒu qián de rén bù huì shuō zì jǐ hěn yǒu qián. Ethan yòu shuō: “Wǒ hěn cōng míng, yīn wèi wǒ yǒu yí gè PhD.” Grace yě méi yǒu shuō huà, yīn wèi cōng míng de rén bù huì shuō zì jǐ cōng míng.
Zhè gè yǒu qián de nán rén méi yǒu hé Grace qù fàn diàn yuē huì, méi yǒu hé Grace qù jiǔ bā yuē huì, tā hé Grace qù le gōng yuán yuē huì. Kě shì, Grace bù tài zài hū qián, rú guǒ Ethan méi yǒu qián, méi guān xì. Dàn shì, rú guǒ Ethan méi yǒu qián, yòu bù cōng míng, bù xíng! Bù kě yǐ! Ethan shuō: “Wǒ bù shì yí gè Trump voter, yīn wèi wǒ de bà ba yǐ qián shì yí gè nán rén, xiàn zài shì yí gè nǚ rén, Trump shuō bù kě yǐ.” Grace shuō: “Rú guǒ nǐ de hái zi shì yí gè nán hái, dàn shì tā xiǎng yào zuò nǚ hái, nǐ jué de kě yǐ ma?” Ethan shuō: “Kě yǐ, wǒ gěi tā yào.” Grace shuō: “Rú guǒ nǐ de hái zi zhī yǒu 12 suì, kě yǐ ma? Nǐ yě gěi tā yào ma?” Ethan shuō: “Dāng rán la! Nǐ ne?” Grace shuō: “Rú guǒ tā shí bā suì, wǒ gěi tā yào; rú guǒ tā shí èr suì, wǒ bù gěi tā yào.” Ethan shuō: “Nǐ shì shuí? Nǐ shì yí gè Trump voter ma? Nǐ zěn me kě yǐ bù gěi tā yào? Nǐ xǐ huān Fox News, duì bù duì?” Grace jué de Ethan tài zuǒ le. Ethan bù shì yí gè nán rén, tā shì yí gè nán hái. Suǒ yǐ Grace duì Ethan shuō zài jiàn.
Xīng qī tiān, Grace yòu qù yuē huì le. Zhè gè rén shì yí gè nán hái hái shì yí gè nán rén ne? Tā jiào Wén hào, tā sān shí liù suì. Tā bù gāo, bù pàng, bù shòu, bù shuài, yě bù xǐ huān shuō huà. Tā men méi yǒu qù yí gè gōng yuán yuē huì, méi yǒu qù yí gè jiǔ bā yuē huì, tā men qù le yí gè fàn diàn yuē huì. Tā shuō: “Wǒ méi yǒu qián, dàn shì jīn tiān chī fàn, tā gěi le qián.” Tā shuō: “Wǒ bù cōng míng.” Dàn shì tā méi yǒu shuō “wǒ wǒ wǒ”, tā yě méi yǒu shuō Trump. Tā zǒng shì tīng Grace shuō huà. Grace jué de Wén hào shì yí gè nán rén, bù shì yí gè nán hái. Xiàn zài Wén hào zuò le Grace de nán péng yǒu. Tā bù gāo, bù shuài, dàn tā shì yí gè nán rén.
English:
Grace wants a boyfriend. She wants a boyfriend who is a bit tall, a bit handsome, has a bit of money, and a bit of muscle. She doesn’t want to date a boy; she wants to date a man.
On Tuesday, Grace went on a date. Was this person a boy or a man? His name is Josh, and he's 38 years old. He's not fat or thin. He has muscles and hair. He's not very tall, but he's okay. Josh said, "I’m very impressive, I’m a VP." Grace didn’t say anything because impressive people don't boast about how impressive they are.
They didn’t go to the park, nor to a restaurant. They went to a bar for their date. Josh drank a glass of wine, and Grace drank a glass of wine. Neither of them drank too much because drinking too much is not good. Josh said, “I’m a Trump voter.” Grace asked, “Why? Do you think Trump is smart?” Josh said, “No. I don’t like Trump, but I really, really don’t want a third world war.” Grace didn’t care about Trump, but she thought Josh was just okay because he kept saying "I, I, I." He said "I" 895 times. Grace thought Josh was a boy, not a man. So, Grace said to Josh, “Goodbye.”
On Friday, Grace went on another date. Was this person a boy or a man? His name is Ethan, and he’s also 38 years old. He has hair, he’s tall, and a bit handsome, but he has a big belly. Grace doesn’t like fat men, and she thought, “This man is a little bit fat, not too fat. If he’s really smart, I’ll like him.” Ethan said, “I’m very rich.” Grace didn’t say anything because rich people don’t boast about their wealth. Ethan then said, “I’m very smart because I have a PhD.” Grace still didn’t say anything because smart people don’t boast about being smart.
This rich man didn’t take Grace to a restaurant or a bar. He took her to the park. However, Grace didn’t really care about money. If Ethan didn’t have money, it was fine. But if Ethan didn’t have money and wasn’t smart, that’s not okay! Ethan said, “I’m not a Trump voter because my father used to be a man, and now he’s a woman. Trump said that's not okay.” Grace asked, “If your child is a boy, but wants to become a girl, would you allow it?” Ethan said, “Sure, I’d give them medicine.” Grace asked, “What if your child is only 12 years old? Would you give them medicine then?” Ethan said, “Of course! What about you?” Grace said, “If they’re 18, I’ll give them medicine; if they’re 12, I won’t.” Ethan said, “Who are you? Are you a Trump voter? How can you not give them medicine? You like Fox News, don’t you?” Grace thought Ethan was too left-wing. Ethan wasn’t a man, he was a boy. So Grace said to Ethan, “Goodbye.”
On Sunday, Grace went on another date. Was this person a boy or a man? His name is Wén hào, and he’s 36 years old. He’s not tall, not fat, not thin, and not handsome. He doesn’t like to talk. They didn’t go to the park, or the bar. They went to a restaurant. He said, “I don’t have money, but today, for dinner, he paid.” He said, “I’m not smart,” but he didn’t say “I, I, I,” and he didn’t talk about Trump. He always listened to Grace. Grace thought Wén hào was a man, not a boy. Now, Wén hào is Grace’s boyfriend. He’s not tall, not handsome, but he’s a man.
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